By Dan Kinem
“When Tony grows up, he’s going to be just like Daddy!”
Xtro has always been a movie I’ve known but never really checked into. It’s one of the infamous “video nasties,” though some people debate this. It initially was labeled a video nasty but almost immediately after a successful theatrical run was granted an R-rating. The story is your typical xtro-terrestrial fair. A father is abducted by aliens and returns three years later, but he’s not quite the same. He has a son and a wife who he attempts to return to only to find out the wife has someone new in her life so as you can guess things don’t go so well.
Now while the story may be typical, the xtro-cution is anything but. Some completely fucked up shit goes down, including something even I deem worthy of video nasty list inclusion. The way the father returns is entirely unpredictable but entirely amazing. Something falls from the sky and impregnates a girl who then begins to grow large, extremely large, and give birth. What makes this amazing, however, is immediately after going into labor blood and guts begin shooting out of her pussy only to reveal a fully grown man who slithers out and gnaws off his own umbilical cord. The effects in this scene are especially effective and unexpected as it is the first really violent scene.
What follows I have no explanation for. The son seems to be haunted by a midget dressed up in a clown costume, with huge clown shoes and face paint. Yes, you read that right. And what makes this even more insane is the midget makes all the kid’s toys start killing. From a huge generic G.I. Joe to a light-up yo-yo (which the midget uses to destroy the kid’s room in a very impressive yo-yoing session) to a disco ball, they all get a turn to torture this family. It is some truly psychedelic stuff. The topper to this scene, and what made me laugh for minutes, is at a certain point a guy is being chased by a toy tank and he is running for his life and whatnot when all of a sudden a black tiger jumps out of nowhere and also starts attacking him. It might not come across as too funny in writing, but the unexpectedness of it and the “Huh? Where the fuck did that come from?” reaction you’ll have is what makes it perfect.
The atmosphere it manages to create is entirely surreal which is part of the film’s charm. The filmmakers manage to make a typically boring and stock sci-fi movie into something that still succeeds in holding your interest because it delivers “the goods” as some would say. The effects are inventive and still hold up and, I’m telling you, all the midget stuff needs to be seen by any self-respecting lover of the “Midgetsploitation” sub-genre. Two sequels have been spawned, though neither of which continues this story. So if you are feeling extra xtro curious this is well worth checking out and ranks as one of the better films we’ve watched.