by Tim May
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama has long been a sort of holy grail here at VHShitfest. Directed by VHShitfest staple, David DeCoteau (Creepozoids, Shreiker, Dr. Alien), the title has always intrigued us. When I saw the trailer, it excited me even more, seemingly a combination of cheesy ’80s horror, Weird Science, and tits.
The film turned out to be just about that. A few college dorks with nothing to do decide to peep on a sorority hazing ritual. There’s fat dork, ratfaced dork, and Rivers Cuomo looking dork.
They, of course, get caught, and are forced to break into a bowling alley to steal a trophy. No explanation as to why a sorority would ever want a bowling trophy, but whatever. The trio of dorks go with a couple of the sorority pledges, and instead of a normal trophy, they find a magical trophy, with a little imp inside that’ll grant each of them a wish. I fucking hate this motherfucker. He’s like Jar Jar Binks, as if he were a character on The PJs. Voiced by Michael Sonye, AKA Dukey Flyswatter, you will never find a more annoying character in all of film.
So anyway, the imp obviously goes all “Monkey’s Paw” on these motherfuckers. Everything goes wrong, and they trap the cocksucker in a can. The end.
This movie was a pretty huge disappointment. Completely boring and terrible, aside from the old guy who ran the bowling alley (“This door’s trapped tighter than an ant’s cunt!” and “My finger’s gonna swell bigger than a donkey’s dick!”).
It was originally titled The Imp and was released under that title in the UK. The British cut of the film is only available on an import VHS that we don’t own. I don’t see how a longer version of this movie could possibly make it better. It will go down in history as “DeCoteau’s Folly.”
