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#172 - Blood Hunger (aka The Kill, Reservoir Cats) (Gary Graver; 1968)

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By Dan Kinem

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Looking at this fantastic cover of a woman with her throat slit dripping blood, plastered in beautiful rental sticker warnings, you would expect this to be a classic crazy 80s slasher. You’d expect it to be anything other than what it actually is, a sixty-minute-long softcore drama from the 60s called The Kill. Luckily, or unluckily, for the audience the film was re-titled, re-edited and re-dubbed into a weird nudity-filled unintentional comedy.

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Blood Hunger opens with a dead cat on the side of the road for needless shock value (can’t say 100% for sure if it’s real or not, but it looks it). Great start to what I can only assume will be a classic cinematic masterpiece. There’s an overly long car chase that culminates in three men in black (galaxy defenders) beating the shit out of a woman with their fists, then dragging her back to a room with only a mattress and a bunch of film canisters to be raped (likely the director’s actual room, which is sad on so many levels). The sound effects for the punches are hilarious, as they sound like frozen meat is being hit with a stick. The re-dubbing I mentioned above is done so poorly that it becomes comical. The girl’s screams go in and out, don’t match up, and sound like they are meant as score to the film rather than an actual sound effect. The sound of a guy unzipping the zipper on his pants in order to rape this poor woman is priceless (sounded like a bee buzzing in my ear). I cannot get over the effects they settled on. When the guy finished raping the girl there’s a literal lion’s roar and a car crash played. Then the sound of him zipping his fly back up is a creaky old door. I can only assume they had a library of effects to pick from and just tried to use every one of them randomly.

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“I’m about to, I’m about to… Aaaaahhhhhhh!”

The rape victim goes to hire a private detective to help her catch these bad guys. As if his 40s/50s movie detective-schtick wasn’t obvious enough, they plastered a gigantic poster of Humphrey Bogart on the wall of his “office,” too. She talks to him, but all that comes out is a sped up Alvin and the Chipmunks-like effect over her voice so you can’t hear anything she says. Turns out this rape victim is a nympho who only cares about getting revenge on the guys who raped her and having sex with anything that moves. She bangs the detective and the detective says in his head, while they are both having sex, “I still didn’t trust her, she might be from the phone company.” Huh? Is this humor?

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A hunchback/retarded janitor, who, because of his fake hunchback, can’t even button his shirt fully, gets raped by the girl who got raped. She throws him on the detective’s desk while he is gone, has sex with the guy’s hunchback, with the Lone Ranger music playing in the background (actually, it was an advertisement for the Lone Ranger playing), in front of the Humphrey Bogart poster. I could barely believe my eyes but it happened.

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While the detective is investigating, he gets caught by the thugs and gets tied up. Turns out these are heroin dealers headed by a man named Adolf Krueger (lol). He manages to call the rape victim to come save him in a hilarious scene featuring him struggling to get the phone and falling all over the place. She comes over and she has sex with him in the gangs’ room where she was raped… Classic.

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Adolf.

There’s another WC Fields-like car chase (ala The Bank Dick) between the gang and the detective/nympho. The whole time this chase is going on she is giving him road head, I think. The scene was so disjointed and crazy that I can’t be 100% sure of anything that happened.

A few random simulated sex scenes followed (including one random death) and then both of the main characters were killed. The end.

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This movie plays more like Woody Allen’s What’s Up, Tiger Lily? than an actual serious horror or rape-revenge film. It’s like a group of teenagers found the original footage without sound and were given the job of creating a comedy out of it. The footage comes across like one of those late 1960s, grab a camera and shoot some sex and violence-type of movies (i.e. a perfect candidate for a Something Weird release). I enjoyed the movie for how bad and funny it was, but overall, it’s a pretty terrible movie that’s saving grace is its short, sixty-minute run time.

The fact the director, Gary Graver, went on to work with Orson Welles is baffling. His skills as a cinematographer increased greatly after working on this as some of his later stuff, like Welles’ F for Fake is amazing! Graver also directed and worked on so many other semi-noteworthy horror and porn movies, such as Trick or Treats, Mortuary, and Young and Restless II (starring an underage Traci Lords!). The man is a legend so it’s definitely cool to see where he got his start, though, I assume this release was edited without his approval (I could be wrong, though).

I am absolutely in shock over the fact this film was also released on VHS under the name Reservoir Cats with the bold statement, “Quentin Tarantino fans will love this!!!” This is not even remotely like Reservoir Dogs, nor have I ever heard Tarantino mention this. Such a funny attempt at a cash-in that probably pissed more people off than even this Blood Hunger release did. This release was put out by Even Steven Productions, one of my absolute favorite companies (Midnight Intruders, Swinger’s Massacre, Satan’s Storybook, etc.). So far I have 7 of the 8 known-releases by them and their whole gimmick for the most part was re-editing adult stuff or random movies they had access to and making them look like horror movies. I highly recommend copping this tape if you can find it. I heard the movie was released on DVD, but as far as I can tell there is no official release of the movie so you have to go with the tape and you won’t regret it!

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Meow.


#173- Armicron in Outlaw Power (aka Power King) (Hyung-rae Shim, Coleman DeKay; 1996)

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by Tim May

Let’s begin our look at the American/Korean hybrid Armicron inOutlaw Power with a close reading of its opening crawl.

“It is a dark time for the galaxy.”

Only the first of many Star Wars“homages.”

“Ankar, sinister overlord of the Morgoth Ulaan Star System continues to cut his murderous swath through the heavens, laying waste to one planet after another.

His next stop—Earth.”

Here is where the makers of so many low-rent sci-fi films make their first mistake—the characters’ names. Ankar is bad enough, but he comes from Morgoth Ulaan? There are more pronounceable names with more apostrophes in most Star Wars novels.

“As Ankar prepares his assault, he is confident that his devastation will be swift and total. His one true nemesis, an ancient celestial warrior named Armicron, was savagely destroyed in the Battle of Altair IV. Unless Armicron can be regenerated, the fate of the unsuspecting planet will be all but sealed.

Earth needs a hero.”

The film’s protagonist is (of course) a dork named Barry Lando (again with the Star Wars?) who begins the movie by giving an embarrassing presentation to his class about his heroes, two fictional princesses from some video game.

A bunch of asshole students who seem to pick on Barry a lot invite him to go camping so they can use his car. Barry agrees because he’s an idiot and he is unsurprisingly sent to gather firewood as soon as they arrive at the camp site.

While looking for wood, Barry sees a UFO, which turns out to be a speeder bike ridden by two helmeted individuals who are being chased by some Cobra Commander looking bad guy. This, along with a later forest based action setpiece (as seen below), makes me think the people behind Armicron really wanted their movie to be a vaguely sleazy teen version of Return of the Jedi. The minions are even called stormtroopers!

After the mysterious bikers lose their pursuer, they take off their helmets and reveal themselves to be the princess’s from Barry’s video game. At first he thinks it’s a prank from his new “buddies,” but after they explain everything that was in the opening crawl to him, he believes them. They also explain that their deity-like grandfather had been kidnapped by Ankar and they had sent some canister of ooze to Earth to build an army or something.

Once they’ve explained Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze to Barry, the princesses see that he has an amulet which, when combined with an amulet of their own, will allow him to become the reincarnated Armicron, the hero of legend who is destined to defeat Ankar. So, they combine the amulets, and Barry transforms into Armicron, an odd looking lab experiment between Ultraman and Kamen Rider.

With Barry’s transformation into Armicron, Armicron, the film, abandons even the remote sense of narrative cohesion it had up until that point, and devolves into a series of dull, poorly staged action sequences. Along with the Armicron powers, Barry has apparently also gained bravery, intelligence, and full confidence with his female cohorts.

The Armicron powers helped him so much, in fact, that when he returns to school at the end of the film, Barry is now a “cool guy,” complete with sunglasses and an inexplicable chemistry with beautiful women, as illustrated by the film’s brilliant final shot.

Armicron is made up of stock footage from a 1995 Korean film called Power King and original American footage shot in 1996. Unlike Power Rangers, Armicron director Coleman DeKay chose, in many cases, to shoot around the action sequences he was appropriating for his film by shooting one half of the action and cutting between his footage of Armicron and the Korean footage of one of the villains. There are many scenes in which the two people involved in a fight or a chase never appear in the same shot!

The tape was put out in 2000 by a late period distributer called Raven Releasing, who also released forgotten crap like New Genesis: Twilight of the Dogs. Extraordinarily terrible cover design aside, the Armicron tape also claims that the film’s star, Michael Bunata, had been in Power Rangers. As something of a Power Rangers scholar, I was surprised I didn’t know who Michael Bunata was. But then I remembered! He replaced Billy as the blue ranger during the big cast change up during the show’s third season.

Films like Armicron are typically right up my ass, but I found it more entertaining when it was trying to be a teen comedy than any of its far from impressive tokusatsu antics. I expected more from the one and only Michael Bunata.

Sorry for the lack of posts recently!

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Me and Dabeedo have been working extremely hard to finish the documentary, Adjust Your Tracking: The Untold Story of the VHS Collector, and we are just putting the finishing touches on it now. Big news involving the film coming next month!

Not only that, but I will be announcing the next VHShitfest release next week!

Be on the lookout for tons of great VHShittiness (including some reviews)!

- Dan

#174- The Goosehill Gang and the... Mystery of the Treehouse Ghost (Stephen Erkel; 1980)

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by Tim May

My father was a Lutheran pastor, so I would sometimes be stranded at the church before or after the service while he was doing some work in his office. On the occasions I had forgotten to bring a book or my own movie to watch, I would be stuck with whatever was lying around—mostly volumes of Christian children’s programming, such as The Donut Man and The Greatest Adventure. Even as a small child, I found these shows condescending. I could never figure out why I was so put off by the Donut Man’s preaching, even though I accepted essentially the same moral code taught to me by my father in church.

Although The Goosehill Gang was a church library staple from before my time, I can see in it all the same elements I had found in my generational equivalents. The titular gang is a group of preternaturally upstanding and moral children who hang out in a treehouse and solve mysteries like some sort of Pentecostal Scooby gang.

One member of the crew, dorky Michael, has been causing concern among the rest of the group. See, Michael has been reading an awful lot of ghost stories lately, even though his parents have forbidden it. As you’ll learn from most Christian entertainment, children are completely incapable of separating reality from fiction, so when the candy Michael had stashed away in the treehouse goes missing, he immediately leaps to the conclusion that ghosts must have taken it.

Even though Michael’s friends seem to think it’s their responsibility to enforce the fourth commandment on him, they aren’t too concerned with following the golden rule. As soon as he discovers the missing candy, the rest of the Goosehill Gang barrage him with jokes about his propensity toward candy. “Ghosts and food, food and ghosts—that’s all he ever talks about!” says bitchy Beth.

Michael is unconvinced by his friends’ arguments that ghosts are not real, mostly because his other friend Gary Thompson told him they are. In order to put his mind at ease, gang members Don and Pete offer to stay with Michael overnight at the treehouse and finally confirm the non-existence of ghosts. Michael lays out some things Gary told him would help ward off the ghosts—most notably, knives, because unlike us corporeal beings, ghosts are afraid of being cut. When Michael hears ghostly wailing, he bangs some pots and pans together, because ghosts are uniquely annoyed by the noise it makes.

The next day, Michael’s bike has been stolen, and Gary has run away from home. Ever the dullard, Michael thinks his bike was stolen by the ghost, until he’s finally convinced by the rest of the gang that Gary was both the ghost and the bicycle thief. At first, Michael is angry with his friend Gary, whom he now refers to only as “creepo.” However, unlike most children, the Goosehill Gang never gives in to their petty desire for vengeance. Melissa reminds Michael that Jesus died to forgive our sins, with all the conviction a child actor reading a cue card. After another sermon to Gary about his running away, the Goosehill Gang can once again be proud of themselves for being supernaturally mature and forgiving, all thanks to programs like The Goosehill Gang.

The most consistent problem with almost all Christian entertainment is its unoriginality. Whether it’s imitating The Hardy Boys or Scooby Doo or Lassie, these Christian knock-offs are not only woefully behind the times; they’re dishonest. By trying to trick kids into thinking they’re watching something they’d see on Saturday morning, these programs send mixed messages as exemplified by the aforementioned chubby, candy loving Michael and all his mean hypocritical friends. That’s not to say children’s entertainment can’t teach moral lessons. The secular Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood achieved that balance, but even as a child, I could sense the difference between his sincerity and this sort of Christian entertainment’s cynical manipulation.

Notes: The tape was distributed by Concordia Publishing House, a publishing division of the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. It seems to have been re-released sometime in the ‘90s, but information on that release or other tapes in the series is scarce.

Check it out ‘shitheads! Here’s the artwork for the...

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Check it out ‘shitheads! Here’s the artwork for the next VHShitfest release! This is the official DVD release for the 1992 Donald Farmer documentary, Invasion of the Scream Queens! Featuring interviews with Elizabeth Kaitan, Michelle Bauer, Brinke Stevens, Mary Woronov, Melissa Moore, David DeCoteau, and many more!  The DVD will be packed with extras including deleted scenes, a Donald Farmer interview, commentary, trailers, etc.

There will also be a separate VHS release, but more details for that will be posted in the upcoming weeks. Stay tuned here for more information! 

Artwork done by the great Earl Kess.

adjustyourtracking: Here’s the official poster for Adjust Your...

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adjustyourtracking:

Here’s the official poster for Adjust Your Tracking done by the great Devon Whitehead. Please spread this all over the internet and post it as many times as you can on every website you have. We want everyone possible to know about the film.

We are proud to say the movie is finally finished and a press release with a new trailer will be going up in a week or two! Thanks for the continued support and be on the lookout for our world premiere coming soon!

Get this post to over 500 notes! Spread it like wildfire!

adjustyourtracking: We are proud to announce that on Friday,...

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adjustyourtracking:

We are proud to announce that on Friday, April 5th at 6pm Adjust Your Tracking: The Untold Story of the VHS Collector will be screening at the great Days of the Dead convention in L.A.! If you are in the area please go out and support. If you aren’t in the area tell everyone you know who is! This is going to be awesome! Tons of amazing guests will be there, too!

http://facebook.com/daysofthedead

adjustyourtracking: Anyone in the Philly area? Mark your...

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adjustyourtracking:

Anyone in the Philly area? Mark your calenders! On May 25th the documentary will be playing at the PhilaMOCA at 8pm! Make sure to get there early, the first 50 people get a free VHS!

It’s going to be an awesome night packed with tape trading, trailer shows, Lunchmeat #7 release party, and Adjust Your Tracking! Please tell your friends and anyone you know in the area!

Go!


adjustyourtracking: Adjust Your Tracking is having its local...

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adjustyourtracking:

Adjust Your Tracking is having its local premiere on Saturday, April 13th at 9pm. Please come out to support!

adjustyourtracking: The schedule for Shock Stock has been...

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adjustyourtracking:

The schedule for Shock Stock has been announced and Adjust Your Tracking will be playing Saturday, April 13th at 11:30pm. This is your first chance to see the film in Canada! Please go out and support! It should be a great time.

Adjust Your Tracking: Adjust Your Tracking VHS Tour

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Adjust Your Tracking: Adjust Your Tracking VHS Tour:

adjustyourtracking:

I am currently planning an Adjust Your Tracking VHS Tour around the country where Levi and I will show the movie, show trailers, trade tapes, and do a Q and A. It will take place the month of August. I have most of the dates mapped out, I just need to book all the screenings. I need help from you guys filling in some of these dates and spreading the word to help us out. Any city with an “*” next to it is already booked. Some cities we will try to host two screenings.

Monday, August 5th –Philadelphia, PA
Tuesday, August 6th – Richmond, VA (maybe 2 screenings)
Wednesday, August 7th - Charlotte, NC
Thursday, August 8th – Atlanta, GA
Friday, August 9th - New Orleans, LA *
Saturday, August 10th – Houston, TX
Sunday, August 11th - Austin, TX *
Monday, August 12th – TX
Tuesday, August 13th – AZ, MN
Wednesday, August 14th – Sunday, August 18th – California
Monday, August 19th – Portland, OR
Tuesday, August 20th-Wednesday, August 21st – Seattle, WA
Thursday, August 21st-Sunday, August 25nd – Travel + MN, WI
Monday, August 26th – Chicago (2 screenings?)
Tuesday, August 27th – IN
Wednesday, August 28th – OH
Thursday, August 29th – OH

adjustyourtracking: Here is the long awaited Official Trailer...

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adjustyourtracking:

Here is the long awaited Official Trailer of Adjust Your Tracking: The Untold Story of the VHS Collector!

Please keep reblogging and spreading this trailer around!

adjustyourtracking: Anyone interested we have 11x17 posters...

adjustyourtracking: Do not miss out on this! This is the go-to...

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adjustyourtracking:

Do not miss out on this! This is the go-to place for VHS collectors and fans and it’s less than two weeks away! This is going to be incredibly fun!

Come out, buy some VHS, watch Adjust Your Tracking, and hang out!

#175 - Kriss Kross - Jump (Rich Murray; 1992)

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By Dan Kinem

image As I’m sure everyone knows, there haven’t been many reviews recently because Dabeedo and I have been working on Adjust Your Tracking and also have been finishing up this year of college. However, when I was blindsided by certain devastating news late last week, I knew that I had to come out of mild hiatus to pay my respects… If “’cause I’m the miggity-miggity-miggity-miggity-Mac Daddy” doesn’t ring a bell then please end your life before I have to do it for you. You obviously don’t know the first thing about true hip hop or the musical art form as a whole. So for all y’all suckas that don’t know… CHECK IT OUT!

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HARD.

The hip hop duo Kriss Kross (Mac Daddy and Daddy Mac) blew up the rap game way back in ’92 when producer/hip hop mogul Jermaine Dupri plucked them out of obscurity. They quickly dropped their first full-length album, Totally Krossed Out— a bona fide masterpiece of dope lyricism, clever metaphors, and unique style, a style which consisted of their trend-setting backwards attire and short dreads. Off that album came hits like “I Missed the Bus,” “Warm It Up,” and of course, “Jump.” The success of this album was astronomical. Shit went platinum in like a millisecond and with this success came the release of something that was popular for about as long as Kriss Kross was: The VHS music single. “Jump” was such a banger it of course needed its own VHS release featuring the music video, the remix, and interviews with the legends themselves. A whopping total of 14 minutes for your hard earned 30+ bucks.

This tape has been making the rounds in my video playlist for a long time now. I’ve busted it out multiple times while hanging out, much to Joel’s (getaway driver) and my girlfriend’s chagrin. They just don’t understand the charm of Mac Daddy and Daddy Mac, or at least they pretend not to understand until “Jump” kicks on and everyone in the room is bouncin’ to the fucking ceiling. Shit is fire and that fire has stayed lit to this day despite people constantly trying to put the song and the group down. This VHS proves why Kriss Kross is timeless and why anyone who disagrees is wiggity-wiggity-wiggity-whack!

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The tape opens with an interview with the duo about their style. They explain that wearing their pants and shirts backwards just “looks right” to them and that they’d wear their shoes backwards but sadly they can’t… “obviously.” We even get a brief glimpse of a super cool-looking Asian dude biting their fashion style as well as some dude on the schoolyard rockin’ Kriss Kross’s patented backwards overall-look.

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Then we are treated to the classic video for “Jump.” One of the all-time greatest club hits. There’s not a person who can hear this jam and not jump out their shoes. It has that sick G-Funk distorted horn sound and vinyl scratch. Their rap style is a mix between Das EFX and some Naughty by Nature but by two 13-year-olds. Without them you would have never seen anyone like Lil Bow Wow, Lil Romeo, or even Justin “The King” Bieber. They completely opened up that lane to the mainstream in the same way Vanilla Ice gave whities hope.



Next, they explain how not only is their music totally positive, it’s completely hardcore hip hop. Couldn’t agree more. They manage to tap into that rare positive hardcore rap group that few have been able to pull off. Not only can they roast you on the mic but they’ll teach you how important going to school is.

Sadly, the “Jump” remix leaves much to be desired. Not only are there no new verses by Kriss Kross or features, but half the song is identical to the original. There’s only a couple moments where the beat switches. Their goal was to extend the song for the dance clubs, and while admirable and necessary, this wasn’t the way to do that. It loses a lot of the charm and would have made much more sense to add some new verses.

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Lastly, they show an inside glimpse into their family, friends, and the hordes of girls that want to sleep with them. As the final credits roll, and a fan feels the need to remind us that “hip hop is here to stay,” we are left wanting much more. Overall, the video is much too short, rather pointless to own today with the internet, and takes up too much space, but it is totally krossed out and totally amazing. No VHS collection is complete without this piece of 90s gold.

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Now, you must be asking yourself, “But Dan, what was the news that made you have to review this great piece of video art?” Well, I regret to inform everyone that on May 1st, Mac Daddy (aka Chris Kelly) was found dead from a drug overdose. It took me a couple days to even bring myself to pop on one of their jams I was so saddened by the news. He was only 34 and my personal favorite of the group. Not only did he rap some of my favorite verses of all-time and craft some of the most fun songs in hip hop that made me who I am today, he and his partner also recorded the infamous “Rugrats Rap” for Nickelodeon that can be found on many of the old Nick tapes out there. I will forever miss you and in honor of your legacy I will be wearin’ my clothes backwards the rest of the week.

I will leave you all with this classic Mac Daddy verse:

So many times I heard you rhyme but you can’t touch this
I’m kicking the type of flow that makes you say ‘You’re too much Chris’
So feel the fire of the one they call the Mac Dad
The fire’s what I pack and what I pack is real bad
I’d like to grab a hold of your soul and never let go
Never ‘til they jump, ‘til they say Hoooo
Now that’s the state of mind I’m in huh…
With rhyme after rhyme I win
The Mac, The Mac
‘Nuff for breakin’ ‘em off somethin’
They layin’ in the back and front
Keepin’ the speakers pumpin’
The miggity-miggity-miggity-Mac came to get a warm
And my pants to the back that’s my everyday uniform
You little cream puff Mac Daddy wannabe
Keep dreaming cause the Mac you will never be
So all y’all with the Dr. Seuss riddles
You can get the finger… the middle”

image You grabbed my soul and I’ll never let you go. <3


adjustyourtracking: WIN THE LAST ADJUST YOUR TRACKING CUT BOX...

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adjustyourtracking:

WIN THE LAST ADJUST YOUR TRACKING CUT BOX OF CUT SCENES FROM THE FILM! We’ve decided to do a contest where you can win the last copy of our limited cut box release of scenes that didn’t make it into the film, including a tour of Scarecrow Video, hatred for cut boxes, and shot on video. The contest will run all week and the winner will be drawn from a hat Sunday at 8pm EST. Anyone in the world can enter!


Here’s how you enter (no limit to the amount of times you can enter):
1. Reblog this trailer on your Tumblr
2. Comment the trailer on YouTube with your thoughts (include your name)
3. Retweet the trailer (http://twitter.com/vhsdocumentary)
4. Write a review for the movie or rate the film on IMDB and message us a screenshot (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2395133/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)

You don’t want to miss out on this, because once they are gone, they are gone. I’ll make sure to repost this multiple times throughout the week as a reminder. We made the release really special and hand cut them ourselves specially for you guys! Good luck to everyone who enters and thanks again for helping us spread the VHS love!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvGNfx0TaE4

Enter the contest! Win a free VHS!

adjustyourtracking: Adjust Your Tracking invades New York City...

adjustyourtracking: Want to be the coolest person in town? Then...

adjustyourtracking: Don’t forget, AYT will be playing at...

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adjustyourtracking:

Don’t forget, AYT will be playing at VHSfest in Syracuse, NY this Saturday at Cloud City Comics!
We’ll be there! Will you?

In the area? Please go! We will have tons of VHS tapes for sale, too!

More information on the Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Stash Bash Tour VHS!

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This is one of the coolest parts about running VHShitfest. I just received an email from the guy behind the Jay & Silent Bob’s Secret Stash Bash Tour VHS I reviewed a while back. I figured I would share the information with everyone on the site (with his permission) because of how rare that video is and because very little is known about it.

Enjoy,
Dan

“Hi-
I’m the guy who made the Jay & Silent Bob Stash Bash tape you reviewed on your site. I wanted to tell you I got a laugh out of the review, and I figured perhaps I could clear up a few things.

You mention at the end of the review that it appeared self-produced and that it might be one of the rarest tapes you’ve reviewed. Well, I think calling it “produced” in any form is a stretch, but yes, it might be rare.

What happened was that my wife and I (newlyweds at the time; it was the late 90s) bought tickets for the tour, headed off to beautiful New Jersey and stayed overnight in a hotel the night before the event. They were doing 3 or 4 tours that day and we were the 7AM one (GOOD GOD), so the hotel was a must. Being that we were just starting out in adult life, lo those many years ago, this was pretty outrageous for us financially—I mean, between hotel, gas, tolls, tickets and Smith-emblazoned memorabilia, we probably shelled out $200-250, which was an insane amount to spend on something that was merely “fun” as opposed to “necessary” (inflation probably makes that something like $500 today).

Accordingly, I was dead set on wringing as much enjoyment out of it as I could, so I videotaped the whole thing so we could enjoy it in our doddering old age. I had no intention of selling it, so all the ‘me talking behind the camera’ stuff, the crummy in-camera titles and, as you charmingly put it, the “complete dad-shooting-home-videos annoying vibe” was fine, because that’s all it was ever going to be: a home video.

…Until we got home, did the math and realized that damn, we spent a lot of money. Since there was a lot of buzz online amongst Smith’s legions of fans about the tours, I put a listing on ebay for the tape, going for what I thought was a insulting amount—$20—purely on a whim. I figured if I sold 10, I’d make back my money, but really, how many people would want to see this? Surprisingly, there were a few. I didn’t get rich from it (or even less poor), but suffice it to say, I made back my money and a little bit more. There’s a few dozen floating around the world at this point, so I guess that should give you some idea of how rare the VHS is/might be.

Back then, the Stash sold bootleg videos, as did every comic shop, so I mailed them one so that they could bootleg their own tour, but I bet they never even watched it. Once, a guy from Australia emailed me to ask “who was that beautiful creature you sat next to? You are a devilishly lucky man!” (I’m not doing it justice—he went on and on). While my wife knew it was supposed to be a compliment, it was creepy enough that we were kinda glad he was on the other side of the world.

I have to disagree with some of your interpretation of the tour. Yeah, there’s some cringe-worthy material in there, but O’Halloran was having a lot of fun entertaining (mainly himself) by being as corny as possible. Most of what he was saying, particularly the blatantly ‘I’m filling time”-type stuff, was very tongue-in-cheek and camp, sort of a Gen X Hipster version of early 1980s David Letterman. Like I said, we were the first tour of the day; I’m sure by the last tour, he had his rap down to a science—and that later attendees were more awake than we were at 7AM.

As for Bill & Ted Meet Jay & Silent Bob, that was an experiment to see if I could approximate stop-motion animation using iMovie (Short answer: no). I threw it on to the tape for the hell of it; the audio came from the first B&T movie and an MTV interstitial staring Jay and Bob.

What else can I tell you about it? Um, Jason Mewes got busted for heroin less than a week after the tour (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/because-he-got-high), which should give you some idea of what he was like when we all met him in the store. Smith was preoccupied and harried but his wife was the nicest person; she and my beloved chatted about what nerds everyone else there were (respective husbands included) for a long time.

So where did you find the tape? Glad you enjoyed it.
- C.Y.”


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